Monthly Archives: July 2014

#CommOnTheGo Lesson Links

Following your requests, I have decided to create links to #CommOnTheGo tweets. This list will be updated weekly or as I am able to curate more of the past lessons.

How to Ask Questions

How to Give Answers

Figures of Speech 2

Sarcasm + Rules of Capitalisation

Punctuation: Capitalisation

Punctuation: Full Stop/Comma…

Prepositions at, on, in…”

If you have any comments of questions, please do share in the comments section.

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Posted by on July 26, 2014 in General


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Men, Women and the Question of Equality.

Before you read further, let me say all the thoughts I expressed here are based on my believes as a bible student.

@joysuo tweeted earlier today about submission in marriage. Like my friend @gbemisoke I think she has a ministry dedicated to marriage and sharing solutions to marital issues. One cannot help but acknowledge that the issue of submission is a knotty one.

A few of her tweets got my attention particularly as related to teaching men how to handle submission. She believes like I do that a woman ought to be submissive to her husband.

Which again brought to the fore the issue of headship and equality. Let me start by saying that I am aware of how sharply divided people are over the words ‘head’ and ‘equal’ when it comes to the relationship between men and women. So perhaps we should start by defining what each word means to me.

Equality: I shall borrow from the Greek usage of the word. The Greek word for equality carries the same meaning as you have when you think of two sides of an isosceles triangle. Equal in length, equal in value, equivalent. Are men and women equal in this sense?

I shall go back to the bible account of creation where after God created Adam, he made Eve. From Adam’s rib we are told. Now, I don’t know how you look at this but if God had to take out a rib this was a kinda permanent indication that the man needs a woman to complete him. Like half a pair of his shoes, the woman holds something that completes the man. Now if you ask me: I would tell you that the right leg of a pair of shoe is not equal to the left. They are not of the same value and they are not equivalent.

Later, the bible will speak of the physical inequality of men and women when it says the women are a weaker vessel. Of course, you wouldn’t have a female football soccer team compete against men. That would be termed unfair because men in general are not physically equivalent to women in general.

Now, what about spiritual equality?  The Apostle Paul spoke at length about the spiritual headship arrangement in his various letters to the Corinthians and Ephesians. Now I shall go out on a limb here and say that this submission may not just be within marriage. Why do I say this? Well, I don’t know about you but I don’t think that a woman would learn the qualities she needs to make her marriage work – If she chooses to marry – within marriage.

As @joysuo pointed out, just as women are taught to be submissive, men should also learn how to handle submission as Christ would. One of the best ways to learn is to practice and one can practice within the circle where one will eventually choose to marry. Like Christ learnt obedience from the things he suffered, young ladies can learn submission by being submissive in attitude to men in general. Note that this is for people who choose to marry. Marriage is not by force but Christians in general are encouraged to submit to one another whether male or female. Graciousness is a great quality for everyone to cultivate.

Headship to me simply means deferring to his authority within marriage. Just as I would defer to my boss in the office even if I feel I am smarter than he is. Of course, I have every right to defend and debate my proposals. As long as I do this with dignity and respect, not being obnoxious, resorting to name calling, nagging or being generally rude, my job is safe…I think. Just as I would want to give serious thought to the boss I work with (my preference would be someone I can learn from and grow with) I should be even more objective when it comes to choosing a partner.

So what exactly does this inequality not mean?

I shall repeat a vital lesson one of my lecturers taught in class one day which helped me put the headship of a man in perspective.

In this demonstration, which I believe he said he read somewhere, he asked that I kneel before him. In bending over to raise me up he had to bend over and as I rose I went higher than him before he straightened up. And he said, so it is that a woman who submits to her husband gets to rise above him because her husband will honour her.

There is this saying: two captains cannot sail a ship. What this simply means is that before a woman marries, she should be sure that she is picking a man who she can respect as the final authority in decision making. It is like getting into a car as a passenger, you have handed your life into the hand of the driver. Of course it would be great If you can drive too because if something goes wrong you should be able to take over. You can also offer helpful advice if there is something the driver seems to be getting wrong but you can imagine how the driver would react if you began to second guess all his decisions.
(If you have ever taken a bus ride in Lagos, you’d see how drivers generally would do the opposite of whatever you insist they should and then they would taunt you with the fact that they are the ones behind the wheels)

Within marriage, the man and the woman are partners. The woman complements the man. So I’m actually tempted to believe that it is the man who is incomplete. (Someday I shall pursue the theory that this is probably the reason why women in general can remain unmarried after they lose a spouse while men can’t seem to manage it)

Now a lot of men have gone overboard to believe that submission equals slavery. So they treat women without respect and take away many of their rights including even their right to education. They equate submission to subservience, assuming a superiority that not even God accords them. Jesus the one whose example men are supposed to follow treated women with dignity and respect. He gave women rights. For example, Jewish men did not believe they could commit adultery against a woman but Jesus raised the status of women by telling the men they did not have the right to treat women as objects by divorcing them on every sort of ground.

Jesus set the example of how to be a good husband by serving his disciples. He washed their feet, he was kind to them, showed great understanding and never treated them as inferior even though he was perfect and they were not. Can you remember how many times Jesus asked his disciples ‘what do you think’ during his ministry?

Husbands…men, today are not expected to be despots. Yes, the curse on Eve was that her craving was to be for her husband but this was as a result of imperfection not a license for men to dominate women. God did not create women as slaves to men. The relationship between a man and a woman is not similar to the relationship between a parent and his child. It is more of a vertical than a horizontal relationship ( yes I know this may sound contradictory but it isn’t really)

It is this ‘verticalness’ that has perhaps led to the belief that God requires submission of women because they were equal to men to start with. I disagree with this too. Come to think of it: do we have to be equal for me to get advised to be submissive to you? When the bible says slaves should subject themselves to their masters was this because slaves were supposed to be equal to their masters to start with? I would actually say this reminder was given because it was foreseen that some women would be fighting for equality with men and would begin to disregard the headship arrangement because men in general have abused it.

So will women and men ever be equal? I do not think God created men and women to be equal. But that is just fine. Women are great just the way they are and as far as I am concerned they don’t even NEED to be equal to men. Men and women need to treat each other with respect and dignity. The fact that they are unequal does not mean one is a slave to the other.
As the bible shows God is not partial, He does not favour one race or sex above the other and neither should we.


Posted by on July 7, 2014 in General


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Unpublished Notes Of A Certified Stalker

So I found this post I wrote a while back and I thought it would be a great way to clean out the cobwebs on this blog. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

Oh well…I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

P.s I’m still a little confused if I actually wrote this…cos I can’t specifically remember writing it. *sigh

Anyway, enjoy!


Did you unfollow me on Twitter? I don’t want to believe you did. I want to believe it is the touch screen phone… I know it can be messy sometimes.

These were the words of the email I was typing. I was thinking of an anecdote to add before hitting send when I got a mention on Twitter and decided to check it out first, hoping it was you noticing and tweeting an apology like I have seen you do to a few but my heart actually skipped a beat when I saw your tweet or should I say your subtweet.

It was not okay that you unfollowed me. You also had to sub me to boot.

“If you notice I unfollowed you, do not mail me. It was not a mistake”
I just stared at the words. I am still trying to make sense of it. I thought we were good…really good together. Just a little while longer and people would get envious of our banter. I envisaged how people would DM to ask me how we got so close within a short period. I was expecting you would take the lead in the DM? I would do my best to match your level of formality or playfulness with every DM. I cautioned myself against abusing the DM privileges.
I took time to comment on every topic you raised. Google became my friend in a bid to sound as intelligent as you do. I went as far as your Twitter allowed me to check out your tweets. I researched on the topics that interested you and started tweeting along those lines. I found your Facebook and Linked-In accounts. I stopped myself from connecting so as not to spook you. But I read up on everything that interests you. I even started following the EPL because of you. I felt your pain when Arsenal lost against Manchester United. I tweeted at all the silly Man U fans on my TL who dared taunt Arsenal. I became your Voltron.

I subscribed to Techcabal, The Naked Convos, Techsuplex, and I have been tinkering with thoughts of following Mashable, Buffer and Techcrunch so I don’t feel so lost each time you go into tech-mode. I tried to create the right balance. It was not like I did not have my own interests, but I put yours above mine… always.  Your tweets showed that you were not a great fan of BBA or NHBi. I watched those shows on a low key because of you. I would follow NHBi tweets without commenting so that I do not mess up your TL.

So, after I endured all your interests you repay me with an unfollow?

True, I may have obtained your follow through devious means. I know that it may have been a little like blackmail when I copied the Reverends style of asking for a followback by tweeting that I am quite comfortable with people like you not following. But you did voluntarily send me your email didn’t you? Okay, so it was because I promised to send you an email containing an information you need for a blog post. God knows I tried to get the info. It just was not available. But I did mail just to check on you when I noticed you were away from Twitter for a few hours. Maybe I overdid it then.

I have read every single blog post you put up. Harvested every personal tweet I could find. I know your best music, best colour, I know what perfume you use now and the last two you tried. I was thinking in the lines of learning to use the new Twitter Custom Timeline just to ensure I didn’t miss anything you have an interest in.

Well, here’s the thing. I do not think I am going to unfollow you. I know you expect me to but I won’t. I am positive that someday you will realize your mistake and follow me back again.



Posted by on July 3, 2014 in General


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