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Embarrassing Pee Tales

02 Oct

A friend of mine just recounted to me a story which I would have found absolutely hilarious…okay, strike that, I still found it absolutely hilarious, even though something similar had happened to me. You know how it is when we were growing up and you are dreaming and in your dream you are playing with your friends and suddenly you feel like peeing and after you are done peeing your realise that you just wet the bed 😦

So it happened that this couple went to bed at night. The husband had given the wife a cup of water before they slept which she left by the bedside. They went to bed and sometime during the night, the wife found herself at a friends place. She was pressed and decided to go relieve herself at a corner. She bent over and started peeing but the pee was taking too long to finish. So she decided to go find a toilet. Unfortunately for her, the toilet she found was messed up, but she couldn’t hold on to the pee any longer, so she squatted at a corner and she completely relieved herself…then the realisation as she awoke and found herself soaked in pee. She had been dreaming!

So, you find it excusable when it’s a kid involved. I mean, some parents make a fuss about bed wetting when a child is two years old. You can imagine how it would look when it is a parent involved.

She just wanted to hide and clean it all up before anyone found out but no, her husband awoke and touched the bed. His question: What happened here? Sharp woman turned to the empty glass and started raking about how someone left a cup of water lying around. Her poor husband felt really bad since he was the one who had brought the water. he rose from the bed apologising. She quickly started scrubbing the bed with everything available so he wouldn’t see the level of the damage and then he suddenly returns looks at the level of wetness and asks: are you sure this is just a glass of water?

Okay, this is totally not an isolated event. Parents these days are taking to bed wetting and they are pinning it on everyone available including their kids. As happened in this family.

Turns out it was the father who was guilty of bed wetting. Well, as usual, he felt like peeing in his dream and he did it to the full only to wake and realise he had done it on the bed. He felt so embarrassed. Fortunately for him though, his wife had just had a baby so he just moved the baby over to the pee zone and took the dry part of the bed. Only he forgot that a baby wearing diaper had to wet the diaper first before conquering the bed. The rest is why we have this story 😐

These embarrassing pee tales wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t add one of my own. Remember that if you laugh at me, someone will laugh at you too :p

So I have this rather not too good habit of holding back pee. Also, I would rather not use anyone’s convenience. There is something about me and my toilet. We have such a loving relationship. Right from when I was a kid, the toilet was a cool place to hang out. I mean, just take a book and go hang out in the toilet :|. I do not trust other toilets, so if I felt like number 1 out of my home, I will hold it till I got home to my toilet (interestingly, my toilet is blessed with the best internet reception, so…you get the drift, yeah?)

So on this particular day, I decided as usual to hold back peeing outside the house. I biked all the way home and well, while sitting there is no danger of a leaking bladder. The moment I got off the bike at the estate gate though, I felt the sudden rush. I managed to walk as decently as I could with a plastered smile as I passed neighbours and threw greetings at them. I could feel one or two drops but nothing mega I thought. The moment, I passed the neighbours, all decency was lost. I ran the rest of the way as my bladder was almost bursting.

Then I arrived at the gate and the there was no one home. I started looking for my keys and the key chose to play hide and seek. I was doing a very weird rendition of a cross between Michael Jackson’s moonwalk and break dance trying not to let the things get too bad. By the time I found the keys and started trying the padlock the dam had broken…and I just let it rain…

And it came to pass at noon that Elijah mocked them and said, Cry aloud, for he is a god; peradventure he is talking or he had to go to the latrine, or he is on a journey, or he sleeps and will awake. 1st Kings 18: 27 JB2000

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14 Comments

Posted by on October 2, 2013 in Thirty-Eight

 

14 responses to “Embarrassing Pee Tales

  1. famuyideolawale

    October 2, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    “Thou shalt not see wind nor rain but the valley shall be filled with water” -2 KINGS 3:17 | “open the flood gates of heaven, let it rain, let it rain” – Micheal W. Smith | I didn̶’̶t̶ ̶ laugh.

     
  2. Ivy

    October 2, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    I won’t even laugh. I have so many experience. I can’t hold urine, I get too excited. The dam has broken several times.

    Most embarassing one was while I was doing an ultrasound. I kept telling d woman that I can’t hold it any longer and she kept singing “I am almost done”. I tried so hard butttttttttt it happened right there on d stretcher and I never visited that scan centre again.

     
    • anagail

      October 2, 2013 at 6:31 pm

      Buhahahaha. I’m sorry. What?! LOL

       
      • Ivy

        October 3, 2013 at 2:54 pm

        Abby 😐

         
      • anagail

        October 3, 2013 at 2:57 pm

        Love ya too 🙂

         
    • tianasagoh

      October 3, 2013 at 2:28 pm

      LMAOO. Like you, I have too many pee tales. I noticed I can’t hold it for too long so I don’t even try. I’ve stopped in the most awkward locations and positions to let it rain. And each time you always feel like you’ve made it until the last few seconds when your zipper,toilet keys and the whole universe works against you. I don’t want to talk about it ( ._.)

       
      • anagail

        October 3, 2013 at 2:38 pm

        hahaha. You’ve said enough 😐

         
      • tianasagoh

        October 3, 2013 at 2:39 pm

        LOL not again 😦

         
      • Ivy

        October 3, 2013 at 2:50 pm

        Loool, that last few seconds eh…..very very important.

         
      • anagail

        October 3, 2013 at 2:54 pm

        Ha!

         
  3. lily

    December 20, 2014 at 6:47 pm

    OMG i had to pee while watching this. it ended badly

     
  4. Tisbeth

    March 22, 2015 at 7:50 am

    I am 15 and I pee in my pants and in my bed very often when I am drunk. I also got caught peeing somewhere several times. It has happened in the school too. I always was embarrassing myself. Strange is that I get very very horny when I am embarrassing myself. I love it. trussetisbeth@yahoo.de

     
    • anagail

      March 22, 2015 at 10:18 am

      Hi Tisbeth, I usually don’t give unsolicited advice but since you commented on my blog… First off I don’t think it’s healthy for you to be getting drunk and getting horn cos you are embarrassing yourself… I think you should be asking for professional help before you actually hurt yourself.

       

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