Monthly Archives: October 2013

A Few More Good Men

Like water drips,

Drop by drop by tiny drop

Tiny pinches overlooked

It eats through the wood work

Like Black Carpentar ants

Grain by grain they gnaw

Until the wood tuns to dust

And is  blown away by the wind



So corruption eats through

Drop by drop by tiny drop

From person to person

Greasing palms,shifting eyes

Looking away, bad becomes good

Thieves made heros,

Heros of kleptocracy

Klepoptocratic democracy



Call in the plumber

Cut off the dripping

Eliminate their hang out

Seal the cracks

Cut them all off

Consign them to the fire

All we really need

Is a few more good men.

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Posted by on October 30, 2013 in Poetry


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Another SideChicks Tale II Episode 3

He brushed a quick kiss over her lips, but she could not miss the sadness in his eyes

‘I’m so happy to hear this…finally’

Chelsea wished she didn’t notice his sudden shift in behaviour.

As if in an after thought, he hugged her.

Chelsea had a million sirens going off in her head as alarms sounded but she hugged him back and smiled too.

‘I know in my heart that I’m doing the right thing’

‘Yes, you are’.


He finished getting dressed in silence. The silence grew longer as they drove back to town. At some point Chelsea found herself staring at her middle finger, at the diamond ring he had used a whole month’s salary to purchase because like he said, ‘she was special like that’. That was four years ago, just a year after she started her first degree.


He had called her and said he wanted to see her. Chelsea had to lie that she had a family emergency. That was an easy lie to pull off. Her mother was sick anyway, and to clear her conscience she would stop by to visit her.  He met up with her and said he had asked one of his cousin’s to make a glorious chocolate cake for her. Chelsea loved chocolates, something she had taken from her mother.


Her mother.


Chelsea had determined from an early age not to turn out like her mother. In fact, if there was anyone who tried to ensure that she never turned out like her mother it was her mother herself. She would always say : ‘I have had enough sexcapades for all the generations of women in my lineage’ ; ‘Please Chelsea, never turn out like me: old and lonely’. Chelsea knew her mother’s biggest mistake was agreeing to be someone’s sidechick. How could you do that to someone else and expect it will not come back to you? Isn’t that why she never consented to dating a guy who even had a girl friend let alone a wife? Chelsea took a sideways glance at Akin and her thoughts returned to that time four years before.


They arrived at the spot at the beach and laid out their mat. It was nearing late evening. Akin and she had spent a lot of time at this particular spot, watching the sun set and taking photos. Sometimes they would catch the second the sun would set and sometimes they would steal kisses as the sun smiled on them and said goodbye. Akin silence on their way here told her he had something on his mind. She had learned to always wait. He would speak when he was ready.


Akin laid out the chocolate and drinks and started talking about his day at work. Soon Chelsea forgot about his awkwardness in the car and chatted about the students who were expelled because they were caught in a sexually compromising situation. She couldn’t confirm whether they really were lesbians though. Akin asked her again if she wouldn’t rather move to another school. Chelsea wouldn’t even consider it. No matter how crazy the rules were in her school, she was at least assured that lecturers would show up for class and there would be no such thing as an ASUU strike affecting her.


The metal was already in her mouth. She remembers Akin saying he wished he wasn’t so nervous that day, he would have taken a picture with which he would torment her for the rest of her life. Their engagement ring was buried in chocolate. Akin asked her there and then to be his wife. She couldn’t say yes…but she didn’t say no. They missed the sun set.


When she arrived home that evening, her mother wasn’t expecting her.  If she was alarmed, she didn’t show it either. Chelsea had never hidden anything from her mum. She wondered if this was even a good time to start. Eventually, she told her mother everything and the only question her mother asked was : Do you love him enough to tolerate all his excesses?  Now as she sat her in the car with Akin, she still thought of that question. Just an hour ago she would have said yes. Now, she wasn’t so sure. She doubted she could ever be sure.


But she had been sure of Kelvin back in the UK. He was a black boy from a very nice Christian family. Within a week they were talking every single day. Chaste boy he was, he never put her under any kind of pressure. He respected the fact that she was engaged to someone in Nigeria. It was so easy to fall in love with him. Even when she was at her weakest he never took advantage. Once they were so close to making out. She had been annoyed all day because Akin had not remembered their engagement anniversary. He took her out to see a movie and she asked him in when he came to drop her off. He didn’t think it was a good idea but she insisted.


She literally threw herself at him. His lips tasted like she had expected and when she made him run his hands over her nipples… She kept pushing his hands down. They were saved by the phone ringing… It was Akin.


Chelsea realised the car had stopped. Akin turned to her.


‘Chelsea, I need to tell you something’.






Posted by on October 27, 2013 in Series


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Are You In Relationship Limbo?

Let’s face it. We all have been there, are there or will be there. That state when you are neither here nor there. You want to move ahead but you cant seem to be able to find your way, you want to go back and you know it’s not the best for you. So, you are just there.

Robin the frog puts it this way

Half way down the stairs is the stair where I sit
There isn’t any other stair quite like it.
I’m not at the bottom, I’m not at the top
So this is the stair where I always stop

Half way up the stair isn’t up and isn’t down
It isn’t in the nursery, it isn’t in the town
And all sorts of funny thoughts run round my head
It isn’t really anywhere, it’s somewhere else instead

(Watch full video here )

Relationship limbo.

You have just walked out of a relationship that you know was really bad for you. You believe you are over it and it is time to move on. Yet, each time you meet someone new and you say to yourself, it is time you can’t seem to commit. You dance around at the periphery unable and unwilling to take a plunge. It is as if your leg has been tied to a stone by BurnaBoy’s enemies and you cant move even if you wanted to. At some point, you may even begin to question your own sanity. It may just be that there is something wrong with you. And then when you finally take the step and enter another relationship it ends up failing. At this point you may feel that maybe the best thing to do is to just stay away from everyone. Perhaps, you are one of those destined to never find love.


Here’s the thing. A relationship works when two people of the same mind are committed to making it work. If you find yourself in relationship limbo, one thing is sure : You have no one but yourself to blame for it. Yes, you might say you put in your bit, did everything you could but it is the other person that couldn’t commit or couldn’t handle you bla bla bla. Well, unless you bound hand and foot and deposited into a relationship that eventually failed, then you definitely have a dose of blame to share. For starters, you made the choice.

So after you step out of a failed relationship the best thing to do is to run an appraisal. Ask yourself, why did this relationship fail? And because sometimes we cannot see things about ourselves as clearly as others do, it might be a good idea to ask a friend to talk to you about why they think the relationship failed. Listen and take notes. For instance, were you so desperate to see the relationship work that you ignored clear warning signs like selfishness on the part of your partner? A friend who was not blinded by ‘love’ will point this out to you.

Next, ask yourself: What do I really want from the next relationship. As they say on Style: it is better to be selective than to settle. So make a list of your expectations. I should modify that: make a list of realistic expectations. For instance, it would be realistic to say I would want to date someone whose voice would be soothing (if you have a temper) but it would be pretty unrealistic to say I want to date a person who sounds exactly like XYZ(for obvious reasons).

Again ask yourself: what will I be contributing to this relationship. Another honest appraisal is necessary. Write down your strong points. If you are a woman for instance: are you industrious? can you cook and clean? Are you respectful? Do you understand what submission means? You may also need to recruit the help of a trusted friend who will candidly tell you the truth about you. If they point out shortcomings, be willing to work on them to make you a better person. Remember, it is easier to make changes because you want to than because your partner wants you to.

Let me say that relationship limbo is definitely not a good place to be. The good news is that many people who are enjoying happy relationships today have once been there. So take heart. If you are there right now, you can get out 🙂


Posted by on October 25, 2013 in Relationships


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5 Limericks For Nigeria

blank map

Again they stood in awe
What conclusion to draw?
Faced with another ‘-gate’
Too painful to relate
Some were forced to guffaw

Since the oil boom
We have been in gloom
This blessing of ours
Like sweet soup that sours
Leaves us now faced with doom

One scandal to another we crawl
Like a Southern American drawl
From Salisu to Farouk
We seem to breed crooks
This system we need to haul

So what are we to do?
Are you not tired too?
Should we the country divide?
Let each take a side?
our nationhood review?

Will 2015 bring hope
A government that’s dope
That will help the poor
We cant say for sure
Verily we cant get a pope


Posted by on October 23, 2013 in Poetry


Another SideChicks Tale II Episode 2

Chelsea walked out of the senators compound undecided as to whether she should leave her father dead. It was not as if he had been part of her life anyway and the closure she was seeking, she didn’t even get.

The senator had been dodgy about all the questions. He would not tell her directly why he had left her mother or better still why he had pretended to be dead all these years. He didn’t explain why after her mother found out he was alive, she still kept his identity away from her. If anything her visit to the senator only left her more confused…and angry. She could feel her nipples hardening. Anger always left her horny.

Her phone rang, just as she was getting it out to call a taxi. Akin. Chelsea picked at the first ring, a ritual from her university days. It was a signal to Akin if she didn’t pick at the first ring. They were not allowed phones in school so there was a need for ground rules.

Chelsea had known Akin for six years. He had waited for her for six years, from university to her masters programme. They had maintained a long distance relationship while she was in the UK and she got back to meet him still waiting. Akin was her world…yet.


The voice at the other end of the line was cheerful, flirty. Akin always sounded like he was whispering into her ears in the bedroom. Sometimes she wondered whether other ladies felt the same intimacy when he spoke to them. She had never had cause to doubt him. Akin only had eyes for her.

‘How did it go?’

‘So so’

‘You want to talk about it?’

‘Not really’

‘So where are you now?’

‘Was about to call my regular cab guy before your call came in’

‘Okay. just stay where you are I’m coming to get you’

‘No, you don’t have to…’

The phone went dead in Chelsea’s hands just as she heard the familiar hoot. She would have recognised it even in her sleep. Akin.

She stared at him in surprise as the car glided to her side. Akin stepped out almost before the car stopped.

‘Don’t get mad at me, I just felt you would need a shoulder to lean on and…’

Chelsea could not be mad at him even if she wanted to. She was used to Akin and his surprise stunts. Wasn’t that one reason why she was so crazy in love with him?

‘You will pay for this intrusion’, Chelsea said laughing

She could see that twinkle in his eye. He must have noticed her nipples which had taken on a life of its on.

‘Whatever you say, madam’. His response was curt, businesslike. But she knew it was a farce.

Chelsea got into the car as Akin went round and got in. He looked into her eyes, concern written all over his face.

‘Are you sure you are fine?’

Chelsea leaned over and planted a kiss on his lips. He kissed her back. She moved closer, the gear stick getting in her way. Akin cupped her face and tilted it backwards allowing more room for tongue to entwine with tongue. Chelsea let out a gasp as Akin sneaked in and rubbed his thumb over her nipples.

‘I want you’.

Akin leaned back and smiled. ‘What would have done without me. There’s this place, 5 minutes…’

‘Let’s go’

Chelsea could not keep her hands off him as he drove. Her hands roamed over his thighs and higher until she could feel his hard dick. He tried to make her stop but she wouldn’t.

They arrived at the hotel and Chelsea could hardly wait for check-in.

Two minutes later they were in the room. Chelsea went straight to the bed, fully dressed. There was something about the way Akin undressed her that she couldn’t lay a finger on. It was slow, deliberate, like scene after scene of a thriller as it built up to a climax. He snapped open button after button starting from the bottom to the top. At the last button she was already crazy with desire. He put his hand under her skirt and located the mound. He dipped his hands in. She groaned to his touch as he fingered her, while kneading her breast with the other hand. She opened wider arching her back, allowing herself sail in the clouds.

The switch from his hands to his dick was less a minute of pure torture. He pulled her to the edge of the bed and entered her. And together the rode to the throes of ecstasy.

The ringing phone woke her.

Akin had reached his phone before she even had a chance to open her eyes.

He spoke cryptically into the phone. Chelsea couldn’t even make out his words. He ended the call and smiled at her.

‘We have to leave now’.

Chelsea smiled at him and rose, picking up her discarded blouse and straightening her skirt.

‘You know I was thinking…’

Akin looked up from wearing half a pair of his shoes.

Chelsea went over and kissed him on the forehead.

‘Okay, what do you want?’ Akin asked, laughter in his voice.

‘I’m ready’.


‘I’m ready to be your wife’.

The look on Akin’s face was a cross between shock and surprise. At that moment, Chelsea knew something was not right.


Posted by on October 20, 2013 in Series, Short Story


Do You Have The Cheating Gene?

I had a guest on my TV show last Tuesday and we talked about long distance relationships. She made a comment that struck me and which is actually the basis of this post. She said people remain scared of long distance relationships because they are afraid that the person they are in a relationship with will use distance as an excuse to get involved with other people, but the truth is someone who you share the same residence with will cheat on you if they want to. I agree with her. In fact, husbands and wives who cheat often live in the same house. So perhaps distance isn’t really a huge factor among people that cheat.

This led me to looking at research into men and women who cheat. Were they born with it or is it something they acquire?

Researchers have found something they call a “love rat gene” that is partly responsible for cheating. So yes, you will not be too far from the truth if you say some people have the ‘roving eye’ gene. They were born with it 😦 . Researcher Justin Garcia said: ‘What we found was that individuals with a certain variant of the DRD4 gene were more likely to have a history of uncommitted sex, including one-night stands and acts of infidelity.

Read more:

Well, the researchers say everyone has the genes. But just as some people are taller than others, some have a higher concentration of these genes which are also responsible for addictive behaviour like gambling. *sigh

Does this then mean that people with this strain of DRD4 (dopamine receptor D4 polymorphism) gene are victims who cannot control their urge to cheat? Should they be excused for their actions because it is in their blood?

Well, have you heard of people who overcame a gambling addiction? It is a long struggle which often involves some kind of therapy, but ultimately it can be overcome. In the same way, people with large ‘deposits’ of DRD4 may need help to overcome their addiction to cheating but they can overcome it.

Yet, the presence of this gene alone is not entirely responsible for cheating. Another research shows that when people’s emotional needs are not fulfilled by their partners then there is a higher possibility that cheating can take place. This might seem like just a female thing. You may be amazed to find out that a study shows that 48% of men rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated. In fact, in that study only 12% of men said they cheated for sexual satisfaction.

Just imagine a situation where a man has a large dose of the DRD4 gene in him and while he is struggling to contend with that, the woman in his life does not give him emotional satisfaction. Certainly a recipe for disaster, isn’t it?

How then can people stop themselves from cheating?

Surely, there is nothing you can do about your genes but there are things you can control.

If you find that cheating gives you a high, then it just might be possible that it is DRD4 in action.

The first step would be to admit that you need help. Cheating may be in your genes but that does not mean that cheating is normal. Accept that you have a problem. Seek help.

Talk to a trusted friend about your problem. It may be a good idea not to make friends with other cheaters. Just as a tobacco addict may want to change his circle of friends if they all smoke, you may need to stop being friends with people who cheat.

Another thing would be to keep yourself off situations that could make you want to cheat. if you are a guy, you may want to keep away from a lady aside from your mate that you are strongly attracted to, or from situations that would leave you vulnerable. Same principle applies to ladies.

Do you know other things that can help a person overcome the cheating gene? Please feel free to share.


Posted by on October 18, 2013 in Relationships


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Overlord of Timelines

Your mind is mine
Your thoughts I define
Two and eight is nine
Your thinking I refine

If you wish to recline
Among kings you wish to dine
Be mute when I whine
Do this and you’ll be fine

But if you dare opine
Words that counter mine
You I shall confine
Banish you from my shrine

Come now, drink my wine
The fruitage of the vine
I offer do not decline
Take this, be my Wyne.

Do you want to shine?
Take your place in the frontline
Take shelter under my pine
I will make you my Quine

I am the Overlord of Timelines


Posted by on October 16, 2013 in General, Poetry