I have three children. LOL
Okay, most people do not believe when I say that. So, I say it as many times and at every opportunity that I have. Having children changed me…a lot.
My first son is 11. I wrote a tribute to him some time ago. You can find it here http://www.ynaija.com/abigail-anaba-tribute-to-the-daves-of-our-lives-y-superblogger/
I’m won’t be reproducing the tribute here but ‘ll be talking also of how having a child affected me as a person.
I never wanted to have kids. People find this difficult to understand, but its the basic truth. I am of the school of thought that children come and disrupt your life. But you know what they say about man proposing and God disposing? LOL
Being pregnant for me wasn’t as bad as it gets for most women. I didn’t have the morning sicknesses or the spitting. I just had this morning ritual. I wake up, brush my teeth, throw up and I’m okay for the day. Yeah, I had it that easy. The birth itself, well that wasn’t so bad compared to the birth of the second, (story already on my blog) it was child’s play (alright pun intended).
Having David changed my world. I suddenly had a responsibility, someone to care for. I was working as a teacher and so I got like about a month break. When I resumed work, I had to go with David and someone else to help me because I insisted on exclusive breast feeding. I mean he was my first son and I had heard so many good things about the benefits of breastfeedng for both mother and child. I especially liked the bit about it boosting the child’s intelligence 🙂 (Yeah, sapiosexual like me)
Exclusive breastfeeding meant that I had to wake up quite early to express breast milk into two bottles that would see him through the times I couldn’t physically be with him. I was fortunate that I had no problem with lactation but I have also read that the more milk the baby demands the more the mother is able to lactate.
I was tied to David for six months. He went everywhere I went. It is true what they say that breast feeding brings mother and child together. For me, this bonding was something great, coming from not exactly liking children to being tied to one of your own. Funny, I think I didn’t do such a horrible job of it. I’m still constantly trying to be the best mother I can.
Let me share an excerpt from my earlier post:
“David, my own David, I love you with all my imperfections and I hope that someday you will understand this. That everything I do, everything I have done is because I love you. I love you with all the fullness of love I can muster and I wish that to you I could be a better mother. ”
Never did I envisage there would be a time when I would stop and think about children. LOL
David turned out to be a gift that keeps on giving. He called his two other brothers in quick succession. I had Chizaram, that’s the second, or Jahmira as he mostly chooses to call himself. You can read his story here https://anabagail.wordpress.com/2012/08/15/for-jamira/and finally Ezugo. I call them thee three musketeers.
Having kids meant that the little social life I even had to take the back seat. It meant putting more energy into thinking of what to cook and how to cook it to ensure that they had something healthy to eat. Having kids also meant ensuring that I am always the best example they can possibly have in everything. You can’t be telling them to do ‘B’ while you are doing ‘A’. It also meant that I have one of the most hilarious moments possible.
I remember how it was with Ezugo, the last born, and how when learning how to talk he replaced every noun with the verb that expressed what it is used for. Instead of saying : “I want a spoon”, he would say “give me the eating thing”; “shoes” became “wearing thing”; “soap” or “sponge” was “bathing thing”. LOL
But, having kids hasn’t always been all joy. it’s certainly not a walk in the park. I think people generally underestimate the strain that having children puts on the marriage. Let me share a few in my next post.
Like arroowsin the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth – Psalm 127:4 NIV