On that fateful morning, I found myself running towards cries and noise from a place I called home as a boy.
Bullying through every strong arm trying to pull me back from going into that inner room that harboured my imminent and worst fear.
All I wanted, was to see your face for at least the very last time even though I lived in denial that the day will come.
Looking back, through all the pains, the gnashing of teeth, the breaking of copper spoon as you were forcefully fed just to make it to the next day… the decaying of my infant fantasy.
I could never wish cancer upon my worst enemy if I had one, yet it took you from me.
Mama when you went away, you took with you the joy and smiles of my childhood.
Mama went you left, the cheerful boy that everybody loved went with you.
I sought replacement in every grown-up I came across as a boy that I was, alas you have left a vacuum only a near-god can fill.
Each and every day for the past two decades, I long for that angelic smile despite your hustle and hassle filled day, coming from your strained and stressed, yet beautiful face.
I lost every form of guidance a child could wish and hope for.
And how I managed to come this far, should be first among the top ten mysteries of the world.
Maybe truly you never left, maybe you really lived on, yet you were never there to pat my back when I achieve a fit.
Maybe you will be proud of me, and what I am on the verge of making of life, just maybe I can become the great man you said I will be.
That’s the least I can be because you made me believe.
Two decades ago seems like last yesterday when you found peace but left your three little birds to wallow in pity and need for sympathy.
Mama we have missed you, and being the last child hasn’t made it easier for me.
Truly no one should have to leave without a mother because they don’t come in duplicate.
I have found courage this day after a long time to write this, so those I care about will understand why I am the way I am and maybe will come to love me. That’s if they don’t already.
Written by Festus Kanayo Olisalekwu. He is @caves007 on Twitter