Let’s cut the chase. I mean, you clicked that link because you want to know why people remain in a relationship when it is clear to everyone, and sometimes even themselves that this relationship is bad for them. Try as you may to talk them out of self-destruction, they hold on and even make you look like the enemy for trying to make them walk away from something they want so much.
So why do they do it? Why do people hold on to bad relationships?
Who would I turn to if I leave them?
For most women and even some men there is the constant fear of being alone. That moment when you get into bed at night and all you have is the pillow. Most people would trade a body that is bad to them from time to time for a no body. After all, aren’t we all imperfect and hence inherently evil? Besides no relationship is good and if you leave this one, what guarantee do you have that the one you are moving on to, if you find it, will be any better?
We have the best of times…when I’m not hurting
One thing someone in an abusive relationship hardly lacks is attention. In fact, you will be swimming in attention from your spouse. They give you so much attention and you are their all in all and that makes you feel special. She has eyes only for you. She wants to do everything just the way you want it. He holds you closer each time another male is around. He makes you the center of his world. You feel needed, important. How are you sure you will get that elsewhere?
The moments after
You know what s/he does after every major disagreement/fight? The gifts? The makeup sex? Especially the makeup sex. Isnt it really worth you fighting over and over if they are going to get so nice afterwards?
But I can change them
The only thing constant in life is change, right? So there will surely come to be a time when your partner will realise that their actions and/or inactions is taking a toll on your relationship and they will change. All you have to do is endure for a bit. You can be the hero at the end of this story. So why not hold on to that happily ever after? If you can dream it, you can do it!
It’s my fault
You are the one who made your partner the way they are. Maybe if you don’t keep so many female friends. Maybe if you didn’t have such an amiable personality. Maybe if you stopped doing all the things that cause conflicts.
Let’s face it: if you have invested in a relationship, you don’t just up and go at the first signs of trouble. Human nature suggests that you wait and fight. Fight for the one you love is what they say. So you wait and hope that things will get better and you keep waiting even when you should give up. Breaking it up is not as easy as people make it seem, but sometimes it’s the best thing for you and if you really think about it it’s the best thing for your partner too.