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Monthly Archives: August 2012

There’s a Hole in the Bucket, Dear Liza.

If you grew up at about the same period I did, you may have been introduced to the folk song which begins with that line. The song is an exchange between two siblings: Liza and Henry.

Henry begins by complaining that there’s a hole in the bucket. Liza advices him to mend it with straw. Henry counters asking with what he’ll cut the straw. After Liza states he should use a knife. Henry again complains that the knife is blunt. This leads Liza into asking him to sharpen the knife with a stone. In answer to that Henry says the stone is dry, Liza says wet it and then Henry smiles and states ‘there is a hole in the bucket’. And the merry go round begins.

I don’t know about you but the only place I like to see a Merry-Go-Round is at the play ground with kids on it. Its a great way for children to have fun. If any facet of your adult life has become an endless pursuit with no clear beginnings or endings, if there’s a hole in the bucket of your life then it is time to change something.

Like this friend of mine, let’s call her Enitan. She complained that her love life has become a Merry-Go-Round : she meets a guy -» dates him -» things start getting ‘serious’ -» he dumps her -» she goes back to the dating market. She has effectively become a serial dater in search of a serious relationship!

What Enitan needs is to throw a clog in her relationship style wheel. Hasn’t it become clicheic to say you can not do the same things in the same way and expect different results?

What are some things she can do differently? She can change the kind of guys she dates or where she meets the guys she dates; She can bring something different into the relationship; She can change her dating/relationship goals; She can allow time between relationships and use this to develop a character trait that would make her a better person.

For her part, Ugochi has been starting her weight loss programme and its not because she hasn’t started. She registers in a gym, starts strong, gets sabotaged or sabotages herself and then quits-only to start again when she sees her husband looking at a slimmer woman. Ugochi is a serial dieter.

To plug the hole in her weightloss bucket. Ugochi needs to run down the list of what could be the possible cause of the Merry-Go-Round. She may need to change gyms and have a support structure on ground to aid her weightloss. She needs to change something.

So what’s that hole in your bucket? Have you been out of school for years in search of a job and all you have is the Merry-Go-Round of circling possible jobs in the newspapers, applying and waiting to be called for an interview, getting an interview and then not getting the job? Is there something you can change? Why not stop searching for a job and create one?

Whatever the hole in your bucket is, you can mend it. You can plug it. Simply be determined to do something different.

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Posted by on August 26, 2012 in General

 

For Jamira…

He should have come in September but patience was not one of virtues. And so on Sunday July 27, 2003 at about 7.30am, Jamira opened his eyes to the world at just about 27 weeks! If you know your math, that’s less than seven months. This was a day after the doctor had discharged me from the hospital after trying to induce the birth for a week with me only achieving a 5cm dilation throughout the week. I had my son at home with the assistance of a nurse!

Just a week earlier, I was up all night working, trying to beat deadlines (as usual) when at about 3am I discovered I was sitting on water. I woke my husband and told him and he asked if the baby was due-he wasn’t. But the water just kept coming!

We waited till about 5am, by which time I had soaked up two ‘wrappers’, and then headed off to the hospital. I was immediately admitted and the doctor ran a scan. He said the amniotic sac was intact but he couldn’t explain where the water was coming from. He decided it was best to induce the birth and so he inserted catheter. After a day or so, the catheter dropped but I was nowhere near contractions-the water was still coming.

The doctor then decided to use injections and drips. This was already day 4 and I had been in constant pain with this water flowing non stop. The doctor did another scan and said the fluid in the amniotic sac was just fine. He still had no idea where all the water was coming from.

The induction started and I went into labour, plus the dilation increased to about 5cm but the baby’s head did not engage. It was at this state that I was discharged. I guess the doctor ran out of ideas.

As you already know I had my baby at home. All the nurse did to get the head to engage was to give me oedema. He was small, but very strong. He didn’t hesitate to grab my breast and suck hungrily. The nurse concluded that maybe he wasn’t premature. I may have miscalculated. I was happy, his father was happy and so were neighbours and friends who couldn’t thank God enough for us.

However three days later, my son slept and for over 24 hours, he did not wake. At about the 15th hour we took him to another hospital, where the nurses (the doctor was unavailable) told us he was just resting. By the next morning, the nurse who assisted in his birth came around and that was when we saw that he had turned blue.

We rushed off to another hospital where they had better facilities and he was immediately taken to intensive care and put in an incubator and diagnosed of apnea attacks. Did I mention that at this point he weighed less than 2kg?

That night, the medical director came to my ward and told me that if not for his religious convictions he would have opted for euthanasia. He said my son had oxygen cut off from his brain for so long and so he was going to be mentally deranged. I was devastated. However, he said he would do everything in his power to see that he survives. Though his chances were very slim, survival was going to be the easy part.

After the doctor left, his father and I got talking about how we were going to cope with a mentally challenged child. We already had one son and the doctor had said we should take consolation in that. During our conversation I realised I hadn’t named him. My husband had named him ‘Chizaram’ at birth which translates ‘God answered me’ but I was supposed to give him an English name. We agreed that he should be named completely so that even if he dies we would have a complete name for him. My husband then said his survival would be a miracle and I said Jehovah’s miracle and thus we came up with the name Jah-mira or as we choose to spell it Jamira.

By the next morning I was awoken by the doctors shout. Jamira had not only made it through the night but had made significant progress health wise. Within the next three days he was out of the incubator and in 5 days I was heading home with my baby.

Jamira is not mentally deranged but he has developmentally challenges. Every milestone has been major- holding his head steady, sitting, walking, talking, running, writing-everything has been delayed, but he has always conquered. In fact, it would seem like he woke up to each milestone. Like when he started talking, he didn’t do it like other babies, he just starting talking in sentences over night. And with his writing, he started drawing circles before he attempted straight lines.

School has been a major challenge. He can’t keep up with kids his age and the Nigerian school system has nothing for kids like him. You see, Jamira has a fantastic memory but he can’t spell or read well. So as far as the Nigerian system is concerned he should be – I don’t know, maybe at home?

I have had to work with the teachers in his school to see him as different and use his strengths to cover up for his weaknesses. They have co-operated so far making his tests oral, someone reads to him, he answers and they write it down. With this system he has been able to perform better than the average student. He enjoys drawing and building things. Sometimes working with him can be really frustrating, but I always like to remember where he is coming from.

Next year he moves on to primary four and the wonderful thing is, he has started reading up to four letter words! I’m sure that very soon, he will cross this milestone like he did others.

Jamira wants to be a doctor. It seems such an impossible feat given that he is still playing catch up with his mates. But who knows! Chizaram Jamira Anaba may yet live his dreams, but if he doesn’t, I’m sure he’ll make others. After all, he lived!

 
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Posted by on August 15, 2012 in General

 

Where Were You?

Where were you when my heart bled?
When from my eyes tears all wasted fled?
Where were you when all I wished for
Was a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold I fished for?
Where were you when all my hope was gone?
And I could think of no other way to find fun?

Why do you turn up now?
Just when I thought I had learnt how
To be a new me
For the world to see

Why do you have to show up now
Just when I thought I had learnt how
To live a life of ease
And no one but myself to please

Away with you like the harmattan dust
Away with you like the iron gone to rust
Away with you, because when I wanted you, there was no place to find you.

 
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Posted by on August 10, 2012 in Poetry

 

Thoughts of a Triple B

Dear Diary,
I have the most delightful news. I just learnt that MD would be paying our backlog of salaries tomorrow *does a tap dance* And guess who told me? Tony! Remember Tony? The new guy in Tech? The one I can’t stop talking about? I haven’t stopped thinking about his lips, imagining how it would feel against mine! Yeah, I should stop dreaming, right? I know, but I can’t help myself. Tony is just one of those guys you meet and you just can’t stop drooling and dreaming. But my dreams would soon come true because tomorrow I’m buying my BB.

Yes! That’s why Tony even noticed me. I found the courage to talk to him even though my stomach was tightening and my feet were shaking. Thank God I was seated so he didn’t notice. And when he spoke…Gosh! I hope I didn’t make a total fool of myself! I must have just been staring stupidly at his lips, imagining…I need to get a hold of myself!

He explained to me in that sexy, deep rich honey voice that I can just fall asleep listening to, that because of how much I have a BB 9700 would be best, that’s the one they call Bold 2. Then he said some technical things I didn’t hear because at that point I felt like his warm hands were on my thigh and slowly moving up until it gets to…I should stop! These thoughts… It’s just been so long since I felt this way for anyone, since I’ve been with anyone. I know, Emeka should have taught me never to feel this way again but…

Anyway, when I get my BB, I’m going to be on a higher level than that nasty Alice. Hers is an ordinary Curve 2, she can’t even receive 3G network. Tony said Curve girls are always on EDGE. I couldn’t stop laughing. And she is there thinking Tony likes her. I will show that ‘villagian’ what’s up! Yeah, I know that’s not a word…but calling her villager would sound ‘toosh! Imagine that she pronounces Levi’s as if it is ‘levy’! Proper villagian and she’ll be forming ‘bigger gurls!’

Plus, she is very lazy. Kai, I’ve never seen any one as lazy as she is. Once MD steps out of the office she just starts pinging every one of her friends on her BB and abandons all the office work to me. Either that or she goes over to Tech to see you know who. And he too will be smiling and talking with her. Maybe its all those low cut blouses and short skirts she wears. She doesn’t fail to remind me that she’s a 38D. One day, I too will learn how they come about all those sizes. At least with a BB I will always go online and Google all the information. Hahaha, I just remembered, that Alice girl calls it ‘Goggle’!

Tony said it would be a good idea to buy two batteries since the BB battery is always draining. He also said I should buy a media card, I don’t know what that is, but I’ll ask them at the market. He said he will transfer music into my phone. Imagine! I will be listening to the type of songs he listens to. I am beginning to think he likes me too or why else will he want to transfer his music to me? He said after I buy the phone, he will help me set it up. I know I can do it myself, but imagine me near him as he does that. I’ll be able to take in the smell of his perfume and maybe, just maybe he will touch me…

Tony said he’ll help me download applications from Appworld and also teach me a few tricks that will keep my BB in top shape. I can’t wait for tomorrow to come. My BB will bring me closer to my dream of being with Tony. *yawns* I have to go now. Sleep calls. I’ll tell you all about tomorrow, even if MD is killing me with work, I’ll definitely stop by. I’ll tell you all about my new UK used BB9700…

P.s If you have not read BB’s Journal then follow this link to Techsuplex http://t.co/QQ8HZ4Gh

 
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Posted by on August 8, 2012 in Short Story